so here goes something. or something.

I write to find out how I feel and what I think; I avoid writing because I’m afraid to find out. Writing is discovery. It’s acknowledgment. When I start writing with a vague feeling or thought, I usually find out much more than I expect. And then it’s there in front of me, and I have to see it; face it; know it; accept it. Ignorance is bliss, or something, so I don’t write. Writing is saying it out loud, and there are some things that you just can’t say out loud. Not now, not yet, not ever. But I’m trying out this thing where I’m more vulnerable. And that means writing. Writing the things I don’t know, the things I do know, the things I find out, the things I want to find out. Being vulnerable means knowing myself and sharing it. Knowing myself first comes from writing. Writing is easy; knowing is hard. Sharing is almost impossible. Sharing means other people can know you. And that’s scary.