Thanks for challenging me to a writing duel. Now I get to look through my myriad folders of crap, semi-crap, crap that could be good, good stuff that could be great and collection of writings that only have the first sentence to pull out something I can fashion into a story I'm not embarrassed to share and would at some point consider submitting to McSweeney's.
Not to mention I only have until Wednesday and I don't want to give you five bucks if I don't meet our deadline. I will gladly take your money, however, should you fail to meet your end of the bargain.
The King of Mexico
P.S. How I feel